A long time ago....

Quote of the day: "What I told you was the truth - from a certain point of view....." - Alec Guinness, Return of the Jedi

Song of the day: "The One and Only" - Chesney Hawkes

Pre-rant notes:

Firstly, major apologies to anyone that actually reads this thing for the lack of posts over the last week and a half - I was very busy at work until Saturday, and have been enjoying my first holiday since March after that. Not really done much except got further on Vice City, but Beth and I are going to Berlin on Sunday for our first wedding anniversary. And I'm not back in work until the 4th of October!!!!

Secondly, Calvin seems to have jumped on my song of the day bandwagon, but has gone one step further by posting the entire lyrics to "Stand and Deliver" by Adam Ant......Check it out if you dare, at http://calvinjoce.blogspot.com



Right, down to business.

Over the course of my first few posts, I've let you in on some of the interests in my life; wrestling, football, video games, my wife (not in that order!!), but I've waited until now to talk about the thing that has probably had the biggest, and definitely longest, influence on my life - Star Wars.

I was born the same year The Empire Strikes Back came out, so the first one I actually saw at the cinema was Return of the Jedi, when I was three. I can't fully remember the impact the film had on me then, but I sure as hell remember the impact when, after the film, my dad took me into Morrisons supermarket where I came face to face with Darth Vader. I was totally unaware, as I cowered away from a man I knew could make people choke with a flick of his fingers, that it was just a guy in a suit promoting Star Wars yoghurts. To me, it was Vader. And it's got nothing to do with the fact that I was so young - y'see, to me, and to many other insane people I know, Star Wars is real.

I've had many heated debates about certain points in certain films, and why such-and-such happen to which character.... I tell you, if I'd been as dedicated to my University studies as I am to Star Wars, I'd be a professor by now. I even actually did a presentation on Star Wars during my first year at uni - my English tutor thought I'd lost the plot, but couldn't fault my research and dedication.

These days, rather than trying to preach to unbelievers about Star Wars, myself and three close friends indulge in something called the Star Wars Roleplaying Game. This involves the four of us sitting round drinking, whilst one of our number sets out a scenario for our characters (self-created ones, not ones from the film) to interact with. And no, we don't dress up. I'm not going to linger on the point of Star Wars RPG, because it's got me into very strange discussions in the past. For anyone who does want to know more about it, go to http://wizards.com and click on the Star Wars icon.

The main reason I decided to write about Star Wars today is the fact that the Star Wars Trilogy DVD box set came out on Monday, and naturally, I bought it straight away (my Dad thought I was daft for buying films I already owned twice, but when I then handed him my Special Edition Trilogy video boxed set, saying I no longer needed, he smiled and kept his gob shut....). The films themselves are pretty much the same as previous versions (except for ROTJ, which I'll discuss below), but the extras are worth the money alone, in my completist opinion. I haven't watched all of the immense documentary yet, but I've flicked through all the trailers and posters, and salivated over the ten minute film entitled Star Wars Episode III: The Return of Darth Vader. Lucas wasn't kind enough to slip a trailer for the last film onto the disc, but he did put this short film showing the creation of the new Vader suit for the film, which includes brief interviews from himself, Ewan Macgregor, Hayden Christiansen, and James Earl Jones ( and if he does Vader's voice again I'm going to have kittens...)!!! That man does not look as old as he should. He must be about ninety by now...!

But the best parts of the film are the shots of Anakin and Obi-Wan fighting on set, against a blue-screen. So that's the closest we get to a trailer.....


It's fair to say I'm an anorak when it comes to Star Wars. Its one of those things that I've grown up with, and I'll probably never grow out of. And next May, when the final film comes out, I'll be there to see it, lightsaber in hand.....

And if anyone's interested, mine's blue.

Road Rage

Quote of the day: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." - Mandy Patinkin, The Princess Bride.

Song of the day: "Sad Song" - Oasis

I have always been a big video game player. When I was a kid I had an Amiga, and then when I was twelve I convinced my mum to let me buy a Gameboy, paying for it weekly with my pocket money. I didn't really have much time for video games when I went to university ( I dunno why, it wasn't like I did any work....), so when I came back from uni I was eager to get back into it. In the last five years, I've had three different forms of Gameboy, a Nintendo 64, a Nintendo Gamecube, my PC, and an X-Box. One thing I've never had, and wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, is a PS2.

Two years ago I spent three months working in a highstreet videogame store, and learnt a lot about the workings of each machine; the PS2 is the slowest, weakest, and most expensive machine available. The only reason why it has been so dominant over the last few years is the distinct time advantage it had over its contemparies. It has also had big exclusivity deals with big games like the Grand Theft Auto series.

However, that's all changed now.

A few months back, Grand Theft Auto III and Vice City both came out for the X-Box, and last week I relented and bought them. The graphics are leaps and bounds above the PS2 versions, and the load times are much quicker. But, having never played Vice CIty before (apart from a few short minutes when it first arrived at the place I was working when it was released), the thing that struck me the most about it was how addictive it is!

I've been playing it solidly for a week now, and I've been stealing cars and shooting Haitians in my sleep!

I've always been more of an RPG man myself, at home more than anywhere else deep inside a dungeon in any one of the Zelda games on various Nintendo consoles, but the sheer freedom and depth of Vice City has completely overwhelmed me! I've played GTA3 before, but it has nothing on this. It's so much bigger, and offers so much more.

I mean, show me another game where you have to stand behind a pot-plant in an airport to assassinate a drugs courier with your sniper rifle, then nick his gear and high-tail it out of there.

Or where you have to drive a motorbike at high speed up a set of exterior stairs in order to leap a building on the other side of the road, all to get a totally different motorbike that some guy has had pinched off him by a gang of hoods! I swear, with each new mission this game is throwing brand new tricks at me, which take ages to master. This thing will easily keep me going until the next Zelda game is released late next year.

I gotta go now, I've got to dress up as a policeman to plant a bomb in a shopping mall.....

The wrong man!

Quote of the day: "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!" - Carrie Fisher, Star Wars Episode IV

Song of the day: "Forbidden City" - Electronic

Pre-rant notes: Check out the Mrs' blog - http://pinksmarti.blogspot.com She ain't written much yet, but she will. And behold it shall be pink......



Football again today, two particular things of note, both of which fall under the heading I've used.

First, I want to go back to my post of the other day, where I discussed the prospects for new manager of Newcastle.

Never in a million years did the name Graeme Souness enter my head.

Now, on a whole, us Liverpool supporters are pretty bitter towards Souness for how crap he was when he was our manager. In his defense, he didn't inherit a marvellous team, and did what was probably the best of a bad job. But against him, I don't think he is a man capable of managing a team which should be near the top end of the Premier League. He did very little at Southampton, and all he's done of note at Blackburn is get them back into the league. I used to know a Blackburn supporter, and he himself thought the guy was useless!

Blackburn, apart from when they won the league, always have and always will be a mediocre team. They'll never be up their again. But they know it. The fans know it, the board knows it, probably even the players know it. Which is why Souness will have thought it was Christmas when he got a phonecall off Freddy Shepherd. I mean, what the hell is he thinking? Yeah, okay, Souness has won a couple of cups in his time as a manager, but by all accounts, Shepherd had him lined up as soon as he gave Sir Bobby the chop. So in other words, he planned it all along.

He gave the man who took his country to a World Cup semi-final the sack, for a man who doesn't get on with most of his players, and obviously, as he's shown by leaving Blackburn, will jump ship whenever a better opportunity arises.

I am glad decent managers like Steve Bruce or Sam Allerdyce didn't get prised from their jobs, and if Freddy Shepherd is foolish enough to think Souness is the answer to his prayers, I hope Newcastle enjoy life in the Coca Cola Championship.......

The only good point about his appointment is this; who was the first man to be linked with the now vacant Blackburn job?

Gerard Houllier.

You can't keep a good manager down.......no matter how hard you try........



My other point of rant with regards to football is David James. Well, not him exactly, but the position of England goalkeeper.

Most people agree that James is not good enough, especially after his blunders against Austria. What a shambles! I watched Stevie Gerrards amazing goal for two-nil, then went to the loo. When I came back it was two all!

Most of the tabloids today have been discussing possible replacements for James, spouting names like Paul Robinson, Chris Kirkland, even the decrepit Ian Walker.

But I know who they should pick; a man who, whilst not being English, is eligible to play for the team.

A man who, mystifyingly has never played for his own country.

A man who, even more mystifyingly, can no longer get into the team he's been at for a number of years, because they've bought an expensive 'keeper, just because they can.

Figured it out yet?

The man I'm talking about is Carlo Cudicini.

One of the few remaining pre-Abramovich players at Chelsea, and undoubtedly the best 'keeper in the league. Why the FA haven't been on bended knee to him is lost to me. He's said in the past that he wanted to wait for Italy, just in case, and fair play to the man. Of course he wants to play for his native country. But he's not getting any younger, and now he's been pushed to the bench at Stamford Bridge. Surely he should see this as his golden opportunity to shine one last time? And I'm not saying he's the long-term answer for England, but he could get us to Germany 2006 at least!

I doubt it will ever happen, and Calamity James will keep his gloves, but I can always hope, can't I?

World Wide World

I've spent the last hour or so clicking the 'next blog' button - there are so many diverse and wonderful people using these things! I feel so small (and believe me that doesn't happen very often.....).

I found a large amount of people who write in foreign languages, which I think is extremely inconsiderate of them. I even found one guy who writes his blog in Welsh!

I found that people write on a never-ending number of subjects - life, work, love, hate, music, religion. I just hope my humble little blog is worthy next to some of these.

I'm gonna keep clicking now, in the hope I'll find a blog by someone I know (other than Calvin)!

Epiphany

Quote of the day: "I've seen honest faces before - they usually come attached to liars." - Alyson Hannigan, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Song of the day: "Destiny Calling" - James, The Best of James


Pre-rant notes: Check out this blog: http://calvinjoce.blogspot.com My best friend of seventeen years, and my best man a year ago. Another call centre monkey. Likes cheese, and zombies.

I apologise in advance if this post seems a bit......heavy.



There's an episode of Angel, in season 2, I think, called Epiphany. Angel has previously sacked Cordy, Wes and Gunn, and, feeling that he has very little to live for, beds Darla, expecting the union to revert him to his soulless 'Angelus' form. However, when he awakes to find he's still a good guy (or, as Spike describes him in an early episode, 'a biiiiig, fluffy puppy, with sharp teeth'...), he decides to take a good look at his lot in life, and makes some decisions that put him back on track (and ensure the show's other characters have something to do....).

A friend of mine has just told me that he's 'really thought about what's important,' and decided to 'clean up my life.' Now, this is one of the few people in the world whom I'd trust with not only my life, but my wife's as well. He's a decent person, and is loyal to his close friends. He has a good management job in the leisure industry. Yet he has decided things needed improving. He's given up drinking (to which I replied 'that's a silly thing to do'....), I presume he's given up smoking, and he's got back with his girlfriend who he dumped a month ago when he thought their two-year relationship was going nowhere.

I already had an immense amount of respect for this guy (all to do with loyalty, not something I'm going into now, maybe one day....), but when he told me all this I just sat back and thought 'wow!'

It's easy to look at your life and say 'I'm not happy with this.'

But it takes a lot of guts to do something about it.

There have been a number of times over the past few years when I've felt really bad about myself. Not so much my situation - I have a wonderful and loving wife who I wouldn't part with for anything, I have a fairly well paying job, even if I don't intend to stay in it for the long term, and I know what my career goals are and how to achieve them - but myself.

When I first met my wife at university, when I was eighteen, I was in a really good place with regards to myself. I had a lot of self-confidence, I felt good about myself, and that came across to other people. But over the past few years that has totally changed. I got to a point, probably between five and three years ago, where I hated myself. I just couldn't stand being me, and I got thoroughly depressed about it. I never had the balls to do anything about it, I just wallowed in my own misery and self-pity.

I think I started to feel better about myself when I went back to university, three years ago, but as soon as I started the course I got ill. I didn't know it at the time, but I've got IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). Before it was diagnosed and I was put on medication - which took 8 months - I went through a really crap time, sometimes not even having the energy to get up in the morning. In the end I failed the year at uni, and dropped out, but despite all this I didn't really slip back into my depressed state (maybe a couple of times, but not totally).

Over the past two years I've changed my job twice, moved house, and got married. I still suffer from IBS, but it's under control. I feel okay about myself, which is a vast improvment on the past. But I still don't think I would have the guts to make any radical changes about myself. And I'm not talking about giving up beer for a few weeks; I've always been a fat bastard, and despite numerous attempts at diets and the like. I've never had the willpower to do anything serious about it. I know thats a totally pathetic thing to say, and unfortunately I've more or less settled with the way I am now. The ironic thing is, as I said, I feel okay about myself.

I'm not entirely sure why I wrote all this. It wasn't what I intended to write about tonight. I guess it just kind of hit me when my friend told he's cleaned himself up. I just wish I had the balls to do it too. If that day ever comes, I'll embrace it happily. If it doesn't, I'm sure I'll get by.... ;-)

Fantasy or reality?

Quote of the day: "There's always a bigger fish." - Liam Neeson, Star Wars Episode I

Song of the day: "La Tristessa Duera" - The Manic Street Preachers



A 71 year old man, who has given more to his profession than probably any man alive, has just been sacked.

An 18 year old boy, who has been in the news for visiting prostitutes, has now left the people who helped him gain his fame to work for a direct rival for £50,000 a week.

And a man who won a world championship 10 months ago has just jacked in his job for the prospect of one day getting a job that would give him more stress, and put him under more public scrutiny than he could ever imagine.

Is this an episode of a long running soap opera?

Is it the plot of a best-selling novel?

No.

Its a week in the FA Premier League......

Now, like most mid-20's English blokes, I am a football fan. I don't really get the opportunity to go to games due to work commitments and financial restraints, but I am a fairly strong supporter of Liverpool Football Club (as such, I spent most of last year wondering why a big useless donkey who kept falling over his own feet continued to be the first man picked for both club and country, and then laughed my ass off when he got dropped from the national squad and Birmingham paid us six and a half million for him. In his first game for them he shot right over the bar....).
But I have to say I find some of the aspects of football ridiculous.



There is not a man alive who has given more to English football than Sir Bobby Robson. Since long before I was even a twinkle in my father's eye, this man has taken underachieving clubs by the scruff of the neck, and taken them to unexpected heights. And he is undoubtedly one of the most successful England managers ever.

Yet a club who, when he joined them five years ago, were close to relegation, have just terminated his contract because the team have done badly in the first four games of the new season.

THE FIRST FOUR FREAKING GAMES!!!!!

The club are not in any noticable financial difficulty, and they have bought well during the summer, and signed one of the world's best strikers for nothing. Yet in the space of a fortnight, THE CHAIRMAN has sold one of the club's best players, and made Sir Bobby a scapegoat for all the upheaval.

And now it seems that nobody wants the job!

Most of the media expected Alan Shearer to take the job, but he has said he isn't ready, and wants to finish his last year as a player first. Here, here! I happen to think that Shearer will be a crap manager however long he takes to be 'ready.' This decision is the first good one he's made in years.

Names like Steve Bruce, Steve Maclaren and Sam Allerdyce have all been mentioned, and have all ruled themselves out. All three are men who, like Robson, have brought their clubs up from lower positions (or in the cases of Steve Bruce and Big Sam, lower divisions), and deserve plaudits for that. In all honesty, those three clubs are probably on a par with Newcastle now, so these are the kind of names the club should be linked with.

Then there's the Premier League's rent-a-manager, Terry Venables. El Tel has apparently been aproached by Newcastle with the aim of managing the team this season, and "grooming" Shearer for his managerial destiny, which is gonna happen in the long term whether I like it or not. This is probably Newcastle's best option at the moment, but the fact still remains that THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE SACKED ROBSON IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!



Then there's Rooney.

Being a 'red' as opposed to a 'blue,' and knowing we were never gonna buy him, I didn't really care less where he ended up (but now hearing his debut for United is against us doesn't make me too happy...), but the media attention he's received has been ridiculous. Why hasn't he been investigated by the police for visiting prostitutes? Why hasn't his girlfriend's father battered him into the ground for cheating on his daughter? Why did Everton, a club almost as heavily in debt as Leeds, and likely to finally slip out of the Premier League this season, sell him for a deal which sees them receive immediately only £10million?

Because he's Wayne Rooney.

Yes, he's a bloody good footballer, and yes, he's now officially the 'boy wonder' of English football (and you have no idea how difficult it is for a Liverpool supporter to say that...), and yes, he's probably made the wisest career move by going to Man Utd (and that...), but shouldn't we save all the hero worship until he's actually WON SOMETHING?

Last season, Everton finished a couple of places above relegation, just for a change. If Rooney was the all-conquering superstar people think he is, shouldn't he have dragged Everton up out of the mire and into a more respectable position? Y'see, I can safely day Liverpool were bloody awful last season, and if it weren't for Steven Gerrard, our league position would have been much worse. I'm not saying Rooney isn't as good as his reputation, as he quite obviously is, but I just think we all need to get a bit of perspective on the situation. If, come next May, he scores the winning goal to hand United the Champions League, I will congratulate him with everyone else (and DEFINITELY that....).



As far as Sir Clive Woodward is concerned, I think that what he has done has destroyed the image of England as rugby world champions. I got up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning last November, and was drinking for twelve and a half hours to celebrate the victory, and what he has done has made all that pointless.

But I'm not talking about rubgy, I'm talking about football.

Sir Clive has been linked with a position at Southampton (and will probably be linked with the Newcastle job before the end of the week.....).

Now, the man has no experience managing a football team. But just because he led a team in a different sport to a world title, he'll be a natural, right? Yeah, whatever.....

I'm sure the FA are rubbing their hands at the thought of him coming to football, as they'd love the chance to make a world cup winner, and an English world cup winner, the next manager of the national team. And maybe, after the next World Cup, he might be close to being ready for something like that, but definitely not yet.

But why, why does he want to join a team like Southampton? He's been lined up for something in the youth team apparently, but obviously the eventual goal is to put him through the revolving door that is their managerial position, after new incumbent Steve Wigley has had the rug pulled from under his feet (which I wouldn't be surprised to see happen before Christmas....). But surely, there's one sensible way of determining whether or not Sir Clive is capable of surviving in the cut-throat world of football management - give him a season on Championship Manager! If he doesn't survive on that, he doesn't stand a chance in the real world.....



As a final note on football, I'd like to mention the team I actually support, Liverpool. After the dismal performance last season, and the hoo-ha over whether Gerrard was going or not, I have to say I'm quite happy with the way things have gone for the club over the summer. They waited until the close-season to change the manager, as they always said they would, and their search for a new boss was done at their own pace, and was not drawn-out. The sale of Michael Owen was not thoroughly unexpected, and after his recent performances I feel we'll manage without him. 'Rafa the Gaffa' has said he needs four months to let the team gel, but everything he has said and done so far seems to be a step in the right direction (apart from the sale of Danny Murphy, which I was very sad about - almost went out and bought a Charlton shirt....). I'm not saying we'll win the league at the first attempt, but I think the club has a brighter future than 12 months ago.


My final words on football?

Gerard Houllier for Newcastle!!!!

To Fly, Or Not To Fly.....

Quote of the day: "This is a tasty burger!" - Samuel L Jackson, Pulp Fiction

Song of the day: "Say hello, wave goodbye" - David Gray, White Ladder


My wife, Beth, is originally from Northern Ireland. As such, whenever we visit her parents, we have to fly, usually with the wonder of the internet that is Easyjet. We can usually get return flights for the two of us for around fifty quid, from Liverpool to Belfast. When we first started doing this, some five years ago, Liverpool airport was little more than a couple of sheds next to the River Mersey. Now, every time we go, they've made it even freakin' bigger! You can even go abroad from there now! Honestly! Last year, we went to Gran Canaria on our honeymoon, and we flew from Liverpool! And it was even on a proper airline, with tickets and everything!

Now, my uncle runs his own business, and has done rather well out of it; he drives a brand new Mercedes, and he and my auntie live in a mansion-like house in a rather picturesque area of Cheshire. They're also rather fond of expensive, far-away holidays (Mexico and Australia being destinations in recent years). Unfortunately, my auntie has developed, well, for want of a better term, a fear of flying. Its similar to how someone would get travel sick on a car journey; she reacts badly to turbulence on a flight, so much so that she is reluctant to fly because of it. My uncle has just completed the Four Peaks walk (walking up a mountain in each of England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales), and now likes the idea of short flights like the ones we take to Belfast. I think he wants to do some travelling locally, because its a lot quicker than getting to the other side of the world. However, my Auntie says this is worse, because the plane isn't in the air long enough to go high enough to escape the turbulence. I have told her we've never experienced turbulence on a flight to Belfast, but she's having none of it.

So, Edward, if you're reading this, I've come up with the solution - sell the company, and buy a private jet! That way, the plane will go as high as you tell the pilot too, therefore, no more turbulence! See? Nothing a few hundred thousand pounds can't solve......

A set-up all along!

Now, I'm probably gonna put a lot of people off me with what I'm about to say. Y'see, my first proper post isn't about myself, or even my wife. It's about wrestling.

Everyone ran away?

No?

There's still someone here? Good, I'll go on then.

When I first got interested in wrestling, it was 1991, during the heydeys of the likes of Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, and Macho Man Randy Savage. I never intended to get interested in wrestling. I was at the tender age of eleven, and most of my friends were into it. I just started watching one day, and got hooked. I remember being a big Warrior fan. I even had a T-shirt with tassles on it just like the ones on his arms (I was eleven, remember?).

Anyway, time went on, and I grew up.

A bit.

Fast forward to May 2000.

My (now) wife and I are living in our first flat together. Flicking through teletext one day, I discover that Channel 4 are showing a live WWF pay-per-view. I thought they were still exclusive to Sky, so was surprised to see it. Out of nostalgia if nothing more, I decided to watch it. And I was hooked again. But this time, being older and (supposedly) wiser, I can see deeper than when I was a kid. I know it's fake, and the results are predetermined according to who has curried the most favour from the bosses, but it still dazzles me. I spend copious amounts of time reading magazines about who might be returning to the company, who is legitimately injured, who keeps refusing to lose to who, and so on. I know I'm mad, but it's like an addiction. If you asked me, I could probably tell you the results of every pay-per-view for the last ten to fifteen years (this isn't limited to wrestling - I am an anorak on many subjects, and my mind is a vast library of useless information...).

I could tell you who The Rock beat to win his first world title (Mankind).

I could tell you who's held the most WWF/WWE world titles (Triple H, 8)

I could even tell you which venue has held the most Wrestlemanias (Madison Square Garden, 3)

I even recently joined an e-fed - a place where strange people like me (mostly men, you'll be unsurprised to hear) create a character, and write out fights with other characters to win made up Titles. Its stupid! Its ridiculous! I now spend every fourth Sunday night staying up until 5am to watch the pay-per-views, and have even bought Sky just to do so (although my wife spends a lot of time watching cartoons and Friends on it, so thats okay....)

I don't know if or when I'll ever get over this sickness, but for now I'll just go back to my wrestling game on my X-Box, and my painstakingly recreated Bret Hart on the Create-a-wrestler mode, and my match for my nineteenth World Title.........

Introducing....bloosmarti!

Howdy!

I'm bloosmarti, but normal people know me as Phil. I'm 24, married, work as a call-centre monkey, but my life-long ambition is to be a writer. Which makes me think this blog thingy is great, cos I can just rant whenever I want!

I will eventually tell all about my beautiful wife and various other stuff, but later, cos it's quarter past two in the morning and i need food.